Do you remember your first impactful Relationship?
Mom? Dad? Sister? Brother? Dog? In Jordan Peterson's epic book 12 Rules for Life he says the first 4 years of a child's life are the most important for their social development. In those 4 short years a child develops the importance of discipline, basic behavioral skills, clear boundaries, they learn to be either entitled, anti-social, difficult to manage or well-adjusted individuals. What an enormous task for a young mother and father to bare such a gigantic responsibility in the life a small child. At the core of society's brokenness is the absentee father. I know because I grew up in a fatherless home. My parents separated before I was born. Do you remember the lyric in the 70's song "Papa was a Rolling Stone"? "Papa was a Rolling Stone, wherever he laid his hat was his home. All he ever left us was... Alone".
My first impactful relationship was with my imaginary childhood friend Louie. Louie and I had many discussions on a variety of subjects. Should we empty the cabinet of all the pots and pans Louie? Should we float our plastic boats in the toilet Louie? Hey Louie, let's stay up past our bedtime. One time Louie and I got in some big trouble. We knocked over a trash can in the kitchen and we didn't pick it up. My mom came into the kitchen and asked what happened. I said Louie knocked over the trash can and all trash fell out over the floor. She gave me a spanking. I said "but Louie did it" she said "well then you give Louie a spanking". I eventually forgave Louie. I had to. He was my only friend.
How about you? Who was your Louie? Was it the neighbor who was your same age and he or she had the same birth order as you? Was it your first grade teacher that paid attention to you? Was it your aunt that in her eyes you were the most wonderful kid in the world? Our lives are not defined by our circumstances they are shaped by our relationships. By the good ones and the bad ones. I'll leave you with this one thought. Love is not the opposite of hate. The opposite of Love is indifference. You see if someone hates you, there is still a relationship there. But if the person doesn't care if you even exist that's far worse than hate. The greatest travesty one person can do to the other is abandon them. Because there is no chance of reconciliation. It goes from a damaged relationship to a decimated one. You can't clap with just one hand.
I bore you all with this for one reason and that is to highlight that everyone has a burden and that burden is lightened up a bit when it is shared with someone. You can be that someone. Take your hand out of your pocket and stretch on over to someone you don't know and introduce yourself. When they ask you what you do, don't tell them about your profession tell them you are a Relationship Investor. And when they ask "What's that?" You tell them you plant seeds of Hope in people and watch them grow.
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